tell your sister to shave her snatch
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he thought i was a dude.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
