The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
