this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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