I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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