cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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