It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
