Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
