I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
