Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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