I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
