WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
