Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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