so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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