I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
