I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
