my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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