wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
