my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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