try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
