yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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