I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
