i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How external is "for external use only"?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
