How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
