I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
