Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
