No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
