i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
