So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your penis caused this!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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