SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
