Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
