I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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