She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
