Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the day after is always just damage control
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i think im in europe. pls send help
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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