i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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