So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
