That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
