i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
