No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Alive.
So much puke
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
