Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
