Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
