He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
