I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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