Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
