Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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