he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
