U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
