I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
