Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
