I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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