My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
