Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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