Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
